The Summer I learned to live again

It was not long after my son was born, that I went back to work. Maybe 4 or 5 days later. Having a child at 41 did not come easy you see, I had help. He was born 7 weeks early because I developed HELLP syndrome. My son was in the NICU for 3 weeks. My miracle son, my son shine came home on November 7th and changed my life forever. When I was trying to conceive I did not give much thought to the commitment of raising a child, or how much time I would want to spend with him nor did I realize the impact this 3 LB 16 oz little boy would have on my life.

My son was born in October of 2011, I was practicing pediatric dentist full time and recovering from a C-section.  During the day I was treating patients and by 6pm I was in the NICU spending time with my son. This crazy schedule continued until my son came home.

I spent more time at work then I did with my son, and he was the reason I woke up every morning. He was the reason I gave myself shots in my stomach and big butt to develop eggs so that I can conceive. Why was I working so hard, was I working hard to fill my life with things that were inconsequential or was I working hard to full fill my dream of being a mother, daughter, sister and a wife. You see life is complicated, we have obligations on earth just as much as to those around us. Learning to balance this thing called life is what I am committed to do in order to enjoy of what remains of my life.

What really matters at the end is not how much money I made, or how many pairs of shoes reside in my closet (believe me I LOVE SHOES), but living life using all of my senses and being alive. Being present, listening, hearing, smelling, touching and focusing on what is important.

In this so called journey of life, I almost died giving birth to my son from HELLP syndrome then again from tumors called GIST. You would think, these events would wake me up, and realize how precious life is.

It was not until the July 3, 2018 that I realized I was living a life surrounded by social media, clothes, shoes, and a ton of crap that really did not matter. It was time to live again, to feel alive and focus on what IS important.